Arielle. Call Me Lars.

I Like To Think Of Myself As A Hippie. Or Free Spirit.

I Am Obsessed With Dying My Hair. One Day Hopefully I Be More Self- Confident And Be Okay With One Color. But I'm 15 Life Is Hard. The Meaning Of It Is Lost To Me. Come Greet Me In Wonderland Sometime, I'm Sure Alice Would Be Pleased.

Laugh. I Did.

Mr. Teatime, from the Hogfather.

The guard was cowering behind an overturned cabinet. He cringed back as Teatime stepped over it. "What're you doing here?" he shouted. "Who are you?"

"Ah, I'm glad you asked. I'm your worst nightmare!" said Teatime cheerfully.

The man shuddered.

"You mean...the one with the giant cabbage and the sort of whirring knife thing?"

"Sorry?" Teatime looked momentarily nonplussed.

"Then you're the one about where I'm falling, only instead of ground underneath it's al--"

"No, in fact I'm--"

The guard sagged. "Awww, not the one where there's this door only there's no floor beyond it and then there's these claws--"

"No," said Teatime. "Not that one." He withdrew a dagger from his sleeve. "i'm the one where this man comes out of nowhere and kills you stone dead."

The Guard grinned with relief. "Oh, that one, he said. "But that one's not very--"

He crumpled around Teatime's suddenly out-thurst fist. And then, just as the others had done, he faded.

"Rather a charitable act there, I feel," Teatime said as the man vanished. "But it is nearly Hogswatch, after all."