I love God, love Jesus, love my two girls, love my family, and love others. I am pretty tired right now..will add more later. :)

Serenity

Sitting here on the beach today feeling the cool breeze sweep over my face looking up at the clear blue sky, watching the gentle ripples of the peaceful water, listening to the children laugh and play brings me back to the week I spent down in Florida with my family. Being down there I loved sitting on the beach at night starring out into the dark water and listening to the powerful sounds of the ocean. Their is nothing more peaceful and relaxing. I felt such of feeling of ease and contentment. My sister Tiffany and I would lie there on the beach starring up at the pitch black sky and we would say nothing to each other. We would just lay there in silence for the longest time. We would take in the fresh air and listen to the beautiful sounds all around us. It felt as though I was in a dream, one of which I never wanted to wake up from. Tiffany and I would go searching for shells in the night and we would laugh and play. She would throw me down in the sand and I would toss her in the water and we would end up wrestling each other to the ground. It didn't hurt, because the sand beneath us was like cashmere, so soft and smooth. Lol The next day my aunt Jenny had warned us about the Florida sun and how strong it was. Of course Tiff and I being young we figured we could sit outside all day and we would be just fine. It was somewhat cloudy that day, so we didn't think much of it. We sat out at the beach all day long and sure enough the next morning we were hurting. Lol We looked like two lobsters! Lol My aunt Jenny took one look at us and started laughing and said I told you so. We couldn't even sit down it hurt so bad. I remember hurting for like a week or so. Lol Needless to say we learned our lesson the hard way and never did that again at least not without putting on some sunscreen first.

Lol I love the beach, the water, especially the ocean, the trees, the sand beneath my feet, the cool gentle breeze, the warm sun shinning down on me. Watching the people brings a smile to my face and for a moment I feel nothing but pure joy and my constantly thinking mind is put to ease. There is a seagull flying above me, it seems so close, as if I could reach out and touch it. I watch as it glides through the air. It is so graceful and beautiful to me. I feel as though I am watching me, that is what I want to become. I want to be free to fly like the bird. I want to soar above and break these chains of entrapment. I want to be free from all the lies and deceit and all those that try to control me. I want to know myself entirely. I want to let go of the fear and worry completely. I want to give myself entirely to God. I ask him to take this worry and fear from me. I want to finally be free and fly like the bird. I will soar above and beyond what others tell me and I shall be great, but will remain humble. To be prideful is sin and to be confident is grace. I believe everyone has the potential and ability to do amazing things, sometimes it takes one special person to give them that push that they need. You are that special person to me. You gave me the push I needed, you God helped me open my eyes and my heart. You taught me to love myself and to believe. I DO believe! Lol I can still see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living.

There is an older couple sitting beside me. The man is sitting in a little chair looking out into the water. The woman is sitting in the smaller chair next to him. She looks up at him with loving eyes, he looks down at her and he smiles. There lips are moving, they're saying something to one another. I can't make out the words, but I see them laugh. As i look out beyond them at the water, I am almost speechless. The sun is shinning down upon the water and it looks as if it is sparkling. It's all so breathtaking to me. Looking at this land that God created, I see nothing, but pure beauty. Lol..I walked over to the swings and swung as high as I possibly could. I put my head back and looked up at the sky. In that moment I felt like the bird. It felt as if though I was flying, all the fear and worry was gone. I felt a great sense of peace overtake my soul. I started laughing and felt an innocence that of which is similar to a child. I felt free. I feel as if my journey is just beginning. I am on a new journey in life. I am walking with God. He is holding my hand showing me the way. I see light and beauty all around me. The darkness and the ugliness is fading. The chains are breaking one by one, my heart is healing, my mind is at ease. I feel the immense amount of love about to burts out of me. I have so much compassion and love for others. I want to give it all to those whom desperately need it and are accepting of it. I want to help people break the chains. I want to show them it's ok to take God's hand and follow him. That he only wants what's best for us. That he loves us unconditionally. He wants to comfort us, teach us, guide us, accept us, and show us nothing but love. He is our heavenly father who loves us! With loving him I learn to love myself more and more each and every day.